Thursday, June 28, 2012
I learn to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt.

I've always strived to be good, at least from your point of view. But I also have my tipping point.

I have always catered to your happiness, but then you take away mine. You said you're just looking out for me, but in fact, you're judging the people I cherish the most.

They were there during my worst times, those low moments when I needed you but you weren't there.

Even at the lowest points in my life, they haven't given up on me.

And this is what I get for being good? Your taunts, illogical comparisons, and self-gratifying remarks?

I may as hell deserve this, but please don't rub it in. I hate to be called a worthless shit many times in my face.

It pains me that we don't get to have some common ground, that I always have to concede to your misgivings. I have always done that, even it has deprived me of many things in my life.

Di ko alam kung dapat ba ko tawaging tanga o inutil sa pagpaparaya, pero wala akong magagawa kasi kahit saang anggulo tignan, ako naman ang lalabas na masama.

Ako na lang parati, at tanggap na lang ako nang tanggap.

Na mas magaling sila.
Na lagi ko na lang sinasayang ang oras ko.
Na wala akong commitment.
Na hindi ko iniisip ang haharapin ko.
Na hindi ka nagkulang sa paalala.

And with every time I succumb to your requests, I slowly lose grasp of who I am.

Kaya kahit sa salita lang, mailabas ko kung sino talaga ako. Seems like living for others nowadays calls for some serious acting expertise.